Dating someone who is struggling with depression

Depression is a disease that has a deeper impact on people around the patient in comparison to any other disease. If you are dating a person with depression than life can become difficult and it maintaining a relationship will become a struggle to manage your sanity while maintaining his mental health. The situation is not different from any other relation, eventually, you lose your sanity in every relationship but issues are more likely to take a new level in this condition.

While dating someone with depression you must understand the issue and learn how to respond in a particular situation. This learning will help in managing your emotional wellbeing without having a threat to the relationship. We might write the details in the context of dating a man but these thoughts and advises apply equally to dating a woman with depression as well.

Whether you want to continue with your relationship or not knowing about your partner is having mental and emotional issues is a crucial moment. You have to deal with this very intelligently and maturely as he might not have shared this information with many people. Also never judge your partner on basis of his mental health, depression like any other disease can happen to anyone and it is curable in most cases.

Things you must know about anyone with depression

If your partner is struggling with depression then there are certain things you need to know for taking this relationship further. The person with depression will welcome kindness and good gesture but sometimes his disease can cause some negative filters. You have to choose your words consciously, with muting words that have an insult, affirmations, and any negative beliefs. Dating becomes difficult and to be very frank more vulnerable. He might take your simple words as comments and reply sarcastically. “Even if you think you have answers, they can turn your answers around and turn them into problems of their own,” they might take your positive support as sympathy they don’t want.

To maintain your relation cordial with a partner with depression, choose your words carefully. Be precise and tell him exactly what you mean from your statement. He might have an attacking response but never reply attaching to him. Try to be defensive and this will make him in keeping his calm.

Depression can make him feel unworthy

Depression might feel him unworthy and useless. He may develop feeling that he might don’t deserve love. It requires a lot of emotional space and strength to love a man with depression. You have to make him feel loved not sympathetic. You need to show him that he deserves love as much as anyone else and he can get it from you.

He himself wants to improve the situation

Depression is a disease and not a choice. The person suffering from depression always needs to get rid of it. He might have developed a theory that his disease is his own fault that he has developed this disease. Every person has a responsibility to try to overcome depression and maintain his mental health but even the strongest person is not immune to this disease. You must learn how to be supportive without being sympathetic. If he hurts you with his saying then he is not doing it out of choice rather he might himself feel sorry for his behavior later.

Depression might alter his personality

Dating a person with depression is like dating two persons at a time. He may have mood swings or some time you might feel like having a third person in the relationship. There might be days when his personality is overlapped by depression and he doesn’t seem like the person you love. When the situation is tense keep your calm and understand that he is not like this in reality.

Staying with him is not your responsibility

You date someone out of love and not because of your responsibility. No matter how much you think he is important to you or vice versa, you are free to end this relationship for your happiness. It might feel like abandoning him with his depression but remember it is his responsibility to cure himself, you are just the support he has.

Depression and its medicine have effects on sex life

If your partner is suffering from depression or is under medication of antidepressant than it might affect his sexual desires and performance. You may feel less satisfied with him but it doesn’t mean that he is not sexually active or attracted towards you. His disease is to be blamed and not him.

We enter in a relationship to be happy and feel complete not to be stressed, something that happens when you date a depressed person. However, it doesn’t mean that you should leave him immediately but never feel responsible for his cure and move away if things became complicated and unbearable.

About the author

Minnie J. Andrews